


Turn and Face the Strange

by orphan_account



Category: Buzzfeed The Try Guys (Web Series), Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - The Breakfast Club Fusion, Angst, Background Keith/Becky, Bullying, Child Neglect, Chronic Illness, Cruel Teachers, Drama, Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Modern Era, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Racism, Racist Language, Slurs, Teenagers, Trans Male Character, Transgender Shane Madej, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-04-07 18:00:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14086494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Saturday Detention. The whole day, no phones allowed. Five students in an elite all boy's school. Five home lives, five personalities. One common denominator. Getting along seems impossible at 7:00am. But by the end of the day, will their opinions change?





	1. Saturday Morning

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Breakfast Club rewrite/au. (You do not have to have seen the film to get the fic).  
> There will be a lot of frank discussion of racism, transphobia, abuse/neglect, and other unpleasant topics - tags will be updated regularly to keep you guys warned as far in advance as possible.
> 
> As of right now, there is no smut - but there may be in later chapters - all characters are 17-18 in this fic.
> 
> Title based on Changes by David Bowie.
> 
> No regular update schedule as of yet; this may change in the future.

High school libraries shouldn’t exist outside of school hours. Not that Ryan particularly minded libraries. If he was being honest, he enjoyed them. Not that his friends could know that. They’d never let him live it down. This and more ran through Ryan’s head as he flopped into a seat at one of the faux wood tables. Eight fucking hours on a Saturday. What a waste of time.

“Who even has Saturday detention anymore?” The voice came from Ryan’s right. He grinned when Zach settled into the chair next to him. They weren’t particularly close, but they ran in the same circles; Zach was president of almost every social club in their school, and social clubs always supported their athletes.

“I know, it feels like we’re in the fucking eighties.”

Zach opened his mouth to respond, but froze when the library door opened again. In shuffled the Frankenstein of a class clown; Keith. He was always too big in a room, and his boisterous personality made it impossible to ignore him, even when people wanted to. He settled into a chair in the back of the table section, thumping his backpack down. Much to Ryan and Zach’s surprise, he remained silent, staring at the carpet with a scowl.

“Is this detention?” A soft voice drew Ryan’s attention.

“You’ve got the right place,” Zach answered. Ryan continued to stare as Shane entered the library fully. Tall and lean, he was fucking beautiful. But he was the school outcast, and he knew it. Very often, Shane Madej was the butt of locker room jokes and hallway taunts. He did his part, keeping his head down and ignoring the jibes as much as they probably stung. Ryan tilted his head when Shane passed him to settle into another seat, hugging his backpack tight to his chest.

“Wonder what they ended up in here for,” Zach mumbled. Ryan shrugged, doing his best to not stare.

The library door slammed open a final time and in stepped their principal, Michael Denzler. With him came Eugene; Principal Denzler’s fist tightly gripping the collar of his t-shirt.

“Get in there,” Denzler grumbled, shoving Eugene forward.

“That’s assault, Sir,” Eugene taunted, fixing his clothes. “How do I look?” He swung his arms out, knocking a pile of books onto the floor. “Oops.”

Denzler grabbed for him again but Eugene sidestepped, laughing as he scrambled into a chair at the table behind Zach and Ryan.

Denzler took a moment to compose himself before snagging a basket from the library check out desk. “Phones. Now.”

With the required grumbling, everyone deposited their phones into the basket Denzler circled the students with.

“Good. Now that we’re all here, we can begin. This isn’t fuck off time. This isn’t time to play grab ass, or sleep, or read.” He shot a glare at Shane, who quietly tucked away the book he’d been pulling out of his bag. “I’d like you cretins to do something useful instead.”

“With all due respect, Mr. Denzler,” Shane began, “I feel like reading and studying is quite useful in regards to academic success.”

“Shut your trap, Madej.”

Shane tucked his head down, his cheeks pinking up.

“You will each be sitting. In silence. Thinking about the actions that got you here. You will write me a detailed essay about who you are, and who you want to be in the future. Any questions?”

“I got one,” Eugene said.

Denzler stared at him, eyes narrowed. Eugene pointed to his own head; in the same spot Denzler was beginning to go bald.

“I heard they’re having a sale on Rogaine at Walmart. Do you want us to chip in and get you some?”

“Sure, you can gift it to me next weekend at detention. Now shut up.” Denzler passed out sheets of paper and pencils. He turned and stormed to the door, propping it open. “This door stays open. If I hear a peep, I’m cracking skulls.” With that, he walked into his office, their phones in hand.

 

Silence stretched through the library after Denzler walked out, each teen keeping to themselves. Zach withdrew a pen from his backpack and began doodling on his wrists. Ryan tipped his chair back, closing his eyes and humming a nonsense tune.

“Hey guys. What do you call a fish with no eyes?” Keith said, looking around at his hostage crowd. They all turned to stare at him, identical - and bored - expressions on their faces. Keith pushed on regardless.

“A fsh. Get it? Cause it’s got no— um, it’s got no eyes. I — like — the letter,” his voice softened on each word, the glares from his classmates only increasing as he went on. He lowered his chin to his chest, suddenly very interested in his pencil.

“I can’t believe I’m stuck here,” Zach grumbled.

Ryan snorted. “Just one day, right?”

Shane watched the friends from his spot, a sick feeling in his stomach. He didn’t know why he’d thought today would be any different than a regular school day. He was still a freak, and still, no one liked him. He stared at the paper in front of him, the blank lines taunting him.

“Who are you?” He grumbled under his breath. “Who am I? I don’t know. I’m a fucking unicorn.” He twisted his pencil up in the front of his shaggy hair, trying to get it to stay upright like a horn.

Shane felt someone’s eyes on him, and glanced over. Eugene was staring, his eyes narrowed suspiciously even as Shane yanked the pencil out of his hair and attempted to flatten it. “This fuckin’ sucks, huh?” He asked. Still Eugene stared, silent, before facing front again. He ripped off a bit of paper from the sheet Denzler had passed him and chucked it, laughing under his breath when it bounced off the back of Zach’s head.

Zach turned back, glaring st Eugene. He smirked, wetting his lips. “Hey geek,” he looked over at Shane. “Why don’t you go shut the door. That way we can get the party started.”

“Knock it off,” Ryan muttered.

“Yeah, just shut up. No one’s interested in you.” Zach added, sitting up a little straighter. Eugene’s lip curled in sarcastic frustration. “Oh, that hurts. Tell me, sport, what landed you in the big house, huh? Coach not happy with his BJ under the bleachers?”

Ryan turned around. “I lose my temper you’re gonna be sorry.”

“Oh? That so?”

“Just because this is a permanent home for you doesn’t mean you have a right to be an asshole. So just shut the fuck up.”

“Free country, mutt. Didn’t Momma ever teach you that?”

Ryan’s jaw twitched, his grip tightening on the pencil in his hand.

“He’s just trying to get a rise outta you, Ryan. Ignore him,” Zach soothed.

Eugene’s eyes narrowed. He leaned forward more, almost laying over the table. “Oh now I get it. You two are fucking, aren’t you?” Zach and Ryan both squirmed in their seats, leaning a little father apart. “Maybe. But see, I know Bergara’s a little bitch. But I don’t see squirt here as a top. So what gives?”

“Go to Hell!” Ryan snapped at the same time Zach shouted at him to shut up.

Eugene smirked. Denzler yelled from his office, the constant reminder that they weren’t alone here.

“I still say we shut the door. No fun with that windbag glaring at us,” Eugene said. He crawled over the table he was sitting at and crouched next to Zach.

“The door’s supposed to stay open,” Shane commented, tapping his pencil on his leg.

“So?”

“So fucking shut up and sit down,” Ryan said. “There’s more than you in here.”

“Oh, so courteous for a fucking jock.”

“Who are you to judge? You’re a freak.” Zach snorted, nodding in agreement. He didn’t like being needlessly cruel, but Eugene’s incessant teasing was beginning to wear on him.

“Oh, like you’re much better,” Eugene said.

“At least I’m not a prick,” Zach argued.

“Honestly - you don’t count. Of all of us in this room, you’re the one that truly doesn’t matter to anyone,” Ryan added. Eugene’s smirk faded a little, but Ryan pressed on. “If you disappeared, no one would miss you. The only comment we’d have is oh, at least the school’s cleaner now.”

“You know, you’re right. I guess I’ll go out and join the basketball team. God knows I’m taller than you.” Despite Ryan and Zach’s giggling, Eugene kept talking. “Maybe student council too. Really make an _impact_ on our school.”

“They wouldn’t take you.”

“What a heartbreaking thought.”

“You know, if you really tried you could have a good life,” Zach said. “People like you shit on everything cause you’re scared of being rejected and hurt. So instead of trying you just turn into a bully.”

“Wow, so fucking smart. Must be genetics. But let me tell you, squirt - you’re wrong. I don’t join clubs because you preps are all assholes.”

“How would you know? You don’t know any of us.”

“I don’t know any Nazi’s either, still don’t wanna join their clubs.”

“I’m in the comedy club,” Keith said from the back of the room. “And the film club.”

“What are you babbling?” Eugene asked. Keith sat up a little straighter. “I said I was in the comedy and film clubs.”

“I’m in the history club,” Shane agreed, almost as an afterthought.

Eugene smirked. “Are you boys in the history club?” He teased.

“That’s an academic club. It’s not really my thing. It’s not the same as a social club,” Zach clarified.

“But to freaks like those two, it is,” Eugene argued. “It’s sorta social, right?”

Keith nodded. “Oh yeah, I mean it’s very social. We have to talk and in comedy club we make jokes, obviously, and—“

“Would you guys shut up? You’re gonna get us all in trouble and I’m not getting benched for the game next weekend.”

“Oh wouldn’t that just be a bummer,” Eugene teased.

“Yeah, you wouldn’t know. You have no fucking goals.”

“But I do. I wanna be just like you. Lemme just bash my head off a wall a few times and put on a tank top. We could be twins.”

When no one responded, Eugene looked around the library. He smirked, standing and sneaking over to the open door.

“What’re you doing?” Shane asked.

“Shut up.”

“Come on, Eugene, sit down,” Ryan said.

Eugene reached up, fiddling with the doorjamb . He speed walked back to his seat as it closed behind him.

“Oh come on, Eugene. Fix the door,” Ryan pleaded.

“I can’t. What am I, a genius?”

“More like an asshole, fix it,” Zach said.

“Aw, funny. Shut up.”

“Come on, you’re gonna get us all in trouble,” Zach begged.

“Just play cool, Jesus.”

 _“Who shut the fucking door?”_ Denzler’s voice echoed through the hall. He yanked open the door, glaring at the five. “Who shut that door?”

“How should we know? We’re not supposed to move. I think a screw fell out.” Eugene sassed.

“Gimme the screw.”

“I don’t have it.”

“Now, Eugene.”

“I don’t have your fucking screw.”

“No offense, but why would he steal a screw?” Zach asked softly.

Eugene’s eyes widened a little, shocked that Zach would even sort of defend him. The surprise must have shown, because Zach threw a glare in his direction almost immediately after.

“Don’t play cute. You know he’s nothing but trouble.”

“We don’t disagree with that at all, Sir. We’re just saying that we were just sitting here and the door closed,” Shane said.

Denzler glared when Eugene smirked. “You think you’re so fucking clever Mr. Yang. Showing all these students what a big, bad criminal you are. If you spent more time trying to improve yourself and less being a show off, everyone would be better off.”

Eugene’s smirk faded. He glanced down at the desk, hardening his expression until it gave nothing away.

“You others would do better if you didn’t stick up for this punk. He’s gonna get you all in trouble.”

“Suck my dick,” Eugene grumbled, crossing his arms.

“Excuse me?” Denzler hated getting into it with Eugene, but he was already at his wits end.

“I said suck. My. Dick. Sir.”

“You just bought yourself another detention.”

“Aw man, ruined my plans.”

“I hope so, cause there’s another. You wanna keep going?”

Eugene grinned. “Bet I can last longer than you, old man.”

“Another.”

“Big fuckin’ deal.”

“One more. Want another?”

Eugene shrugged, tightening his arms across his chest.

“That’s it,” Denzler slapped the table in front of Shane. Ryan didn’t miss the flinch he gave at it, his eyes squeezing shut.

“If I come in here again I’ll be handing out expulsions, instead of just detention, got me?” Instead of waiting for an answer, Denzler turned and stormed out, leaving the five in a heavy, tense silence.


	2. Butting Heads

Silence was almost more exhausting than activity. Shane knew that, of course, and tried his best to stay active. Stuck in a seat, forced into silence where reading was forbidden; this could very well be his definition of Hell, if he believed in that sort of thing. He tried to write the essay - but how did Principal Denzler expect him to answer such a complex question? Shane had been asking himself the same one for years. At this point it was almost second nature to question and guess at his existence. In a weak attempt to keep himself awake despite his drooping eyelids, Shane took a look around the library, and those inhabiting it for the next six hours and fifty-one minutes.

The library he knew like the back of his hand. He spent hours here, studying, relaxing. The people - not so much. He knew their names: Zach, destined to be rich and famous his whole life from the looks of his wardrobe and popularity. Eugene, destined to a life behind bars or in a shallow grave at a young age. Ryan, the star of the school, he’d probably end up some famous basketball player on some NFL team. Or whatever that acronym was - Shane was never good with sports shit. Keith, well Keith was just Keith - that’s who he’d always be.

Shane’s head sank into the crook of his arm, his eyelids finally winning the battle as he drifted into a light sleep.

 

Zach wasn’t exactly sleeping when the door to the library opened. He was dozing - but awake enough to hear everything, including Denzler’s pissed off muttering at the realization that all of his captive students were napping in the middle of detention.

Still none of them moved when he snapped at them, forcing him to go around and ‘wake’ each individually.

Zach’s gaze met Ryan’s, each smirking a little at their infuriated principal. Zach tried to be a good student and not cause much trouble but even he had to admit the principal could be a dick. Maybe it was working in an all boy’s school for however long he’d been working here - maybe he was just an asshole, Zach didn’t care. Sometimes fucking with him was worth it.

Each student was given five minutes to use the bathroom. With the exception of Eugene of course; he was given two, and escorted by Denzler.

 

As soon as Denzler vacated the library with another warning to stay seated or get a broken skull, Ryan and Eugene rose. Eugene climbed over the stair rail and snagged a handful of books, climbing onto one of the desks. As he began to flip through them, Ryan stretched. His shirt rode up, revealing a thin strip of skin dusted with dark hair.

Shane bit his lip, his eyes drawing immediately to that spot. He cleared his throat and rose, circling around the tables and climbing the steps to stand near Eugene. He watched Ryan do small workouts; pull ups, push ups, stretches.

The sound of tearing paper drew his attention away from his private show and over to Eugene. He was ripping pages from one of the books he’d grabbed.

“Way to be an asshole,” Ryan grumbled.

“You’re right. It’s wrong to destroy books. Especially ones by such an esteemed author like...” Eugene hesitated, his nose scrunching up at the author’s name. “Abraham Hershey.”

“Hershel,” Zach corrected, his lips curling up when Eugene grinned.

“His work is so amazing,” Shane commented. Eugene chucked the remainder of the book at him and it hit him in the chest with a thud.

“So, Zach - you going to Ned’s party tonight?” Ryan asked.

“I’m not sure.”

“You know, Curly will be there.”

“I figured.”

“You know he likes you, right?”

“I know.”

Ryan’s eyes narrowed and Zach shrugged. “I don’t know if it’s a good idea right now is all.”

“What? Dating?”

“Well that, and just going to a party in general. Things are kinda tense between my parents right now.”

“They’re parents. Things are always tense.”

“No, it’s different,” Zach said softly. “It’s like... They’re going out of their way to blame the bad shit I do on each other. I’m tired of trying to play the peacemaker - but I don’t wanna do something that’ll just make them fight more. I feel like any minute they’ll end up divorced, and then where will I be?”

“Well which one do you like better?” Eugene asked. They all looked at him, not realizing he’d been listening intently as Ryan and Zach spoke.

“I don’t know, they’re my parents.”

“But if you absolutely had to choose,” Eugene pressed.

Zach shrugged. “Neither. I’d go live with my sister or something. My mom thinks I can do no wrong; everything shitty I do she blames on dad. And dad just thinks everything bad is simple teenage rebellion. Neither of them actually care about the real reason I do things.”

Keith gave one sharp bark of laughter from the back of the room. Zach glared daggers at him. “Fuck you.” Keith shrugged, turning his attention back to his paper.

“You’re just feeling sorry for yourself now,” Ryan teased.

“Well do you get along with your parents, sport?” Eugene asked.

Ryan sighed, resting his hip on the table. “There’s literally no winning with you. If I say yes, I’m an idiot. If I say no, I’m a whiner, right?”

“Well you’re both of those anyways, but if you say yes, you’re also a liar.” Eugene hopped down as he spoke, using his height to tower over Ryan.

“What is your fucking problem?” Ryan snapped, shoving him back and walking toward the center of the room.

“You. And all the whiny fucking jocks like you. Think your lives are so fuckin’ bad when you’ve got it golden. You’ve got no idea what bad parents are like.” Eugene followed, slamming into him. Ryan turned back around and raised his fist, ready to strike.

“Guys, come on,” Shane tried, rushing down and grabbing their shoulders. “Look, no one gets along with their parents. I mean—“ Ryan shoved his hand off and walked away, still glaring at Eugene. Shane pressed on, even while Eugene glared at him. “I mean I can’t stand my parents sometimes. My mom’s idea of discipline is insane.”

“Shut up,” Eugene said with an eerie calm in his voice. He stepped forward until Shane was forced to back up, sitting on the table. “You’re a parent’s wet dream, dork. Even with what you are.”

Shane’s face drooped. “But that’s the problem,” he tried again.

“No, it’s not. I get it - you’re a weirdo. But you’re a teacher’s pet and I’ve seen you, all around town, helping the homeless and that shit. You have no right to talk.”

“Why do you have to insult everyone?” Ryan snapped.

“I’m telling the truth.”

“Fine, but he’s got a name. It’s—“ Ryan hesitated, looking over. “It’s Shane, right?”

Shane beamed. “It’s Shane.”

Ryan looked back at Eugene with a smug smirk. Eugene rolled his eyes. “Sucks to be you.”

He walked toward the front of the room again, missing the pain that crossed Shane’s face for the briefest second.

“What’s your full name?” Zach asked.

Eugene pressed the tip of his tongue against his canine, his open mouth curved up into a grin.

“Tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine.”

“Kornfeld.”

“Holy shit,” Eugene laughed.

“What?” Zach asked.

“That is such a Jewish name, man.”

“I sure hope so, I am Jewish.”

“Yeah, I know but like - there’s names where you’re like okay that could be this or this and then there’s names like — No one is gonna mistake you for anything but.”

Zach grinned, rolling his eyes. He opened his mouth to respond but Ryan spoke up from behind him.

“Leave him alone, Eugene.”

“What am I doing?”

Zach turned around, trying to say it was okay, but Ryan ignored him. They approached each other, meeting in the middle of the room once more.

“You’ve got a fucking obvious last name too. You don’t need to fucking harass people.”

“I do have an obvious last name, that’s why I was making the comment. Not a single person could mistake Yang as anything but Asian. Can we say the same about your name, _Bergara_?”

Ryan’s jaw clenched. “Shut up.”

“Why? You wanted me to be a bully, here I am!” Eugene shoved Ryan hard, making him stumble back a few feet.

Ryan recovered fast, lunging at Eugene. He swung, barely missing his jaw.

“You little shit.”

The two connected hard, falling into a pile of grunts and thuds on the floor. Zach rose, making a small, scared noise. Shane and Keith exchanged a look before they shot forward, barely dodging the fists and knees of the fighting boys.

Keith managed to get ahold of Eugene’s jacket, yanking him back at the same time Shane wrapped his arms around Ryan in an awkward bear hug, stumbling backwards. The two separated reluctantly, fighting their captors.

“Enough!” Zach cried, getting in between them. “We’re stuck here until three, I’d like ya to not fucking murder each other in the meantime.”

“Tell that to your fucking boyfriend,” Eugene spat.

“He’s not my boyfriend, damnit. I’m single. And you,” he poked Ryan in the chest, “I’m perfectly capable of defending myself, Ryan. You don’t need to play knight in shining armor when I don’t even need it.”

Ryan relaxed a little in Shane’s grip. He nodded and shrugged Shane off him. “You’re right. Fine. I’m sorry.”

“You done too?” Zach asked Eugene. He smirked, wetting his lips.

“He ain’t worth it.”

 

***

 

No one moved when the library door creaked open. In walked the janitor, ‘Chris’ emblazoned over his chest. He was a regular face around the school, tall and slim with wavy dark hair. He pushed a large cart, glancing at the group.

“Hey Shane, how you holding up?”

Shane glanced up from the book he was reading, his cheeks reddening. He offered a half smile and shrug, turning back to the words as soon as he could.

“Your dad works here?” Eugene teased. Shane shifted uncomfortably, not looking up from his book. Chris rolled his eyes, going about his business until Eugene cleared his throat. “Chris, can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Did you go to college? I mean no disrespect, I’m just wondering what someone majors in to become a janitor.”

Chris smirked, leaning against the wall. “I went to college. Not for this, but I went.”

“What was your major?”

“Social work. I was an athlete, on the dean’s list, the works. I have a masters.”

“So why are you a janitor?” Keith asked from the back. “What went wrong?”

“You assume something went wrong.”

“Well, you’re a janitor,” Eugene said.

“And? Listen - you know what social workers are supposed to do. Help kids, get them out of abusive situations, make their lives better. And you know what the majority are stuck doing. Chasing non-abusive families while real kids fall through the cracks. I help more kids with this job than I ever could have as a social worker.”

“How?” Zach asked. The five were all listening intently at this point. Chris shrugged.

“You kids don’t like adults. It’s normal - you’re teenagers. Trying time and all that. You like to hide from adults. You don’t say things candidly if you think a teacher or parent might be around. You keep secrets and hide pain. You wanna do it all on your own and that’s great. Independence is good but you don’t know when to ask for help.

But me? I’m invisible to you kids. I walk the halls and it’s like I don’t exist. Kids speak freely, hide nothing. I know you five more than your parents do I bet, and definitely more than you know yourself. I keep your secrets. Unless there’s danger - then I help. I tell someone who can get you kids the help you need. I’m just a janitor. But I’ve helped more kids that have fallen through the cracks than you can imagine. And _that_ is why I do this job.”

When no one spoke, Chris smiled and stood straight, grabbing his cart again. “By the way, that clock is twenty minutes fast,” he said, nodding to the clock in the back of the room.

The five chuckled a little, glancing at each other. The door opened again and Denzler walked in, narrowly missing Chris as he headed out.

“Watch it,” he snapped. Chris smiled patiently.

“Sorry, Mr. Denzler.” He ignored Chris, turning to the students.

“Alright girls, it’s lunch time.”

“Mr. Denzler, considering the circumstances - do you think you should be using a different term to address us?” Keith said.

“What, does being called a girl offend your sensitive mind?”

“Well no, but it may hurt some.”

Denzler’s eyes narrowed. His gaze slid over to Shane, who was - at that moment - trying to sink under the table in the most sly way possible.

“Oh, what? If Madej wants to pretend to be a boy then nicknames like that just have to be dealt with.”

“I’m not pretending!” Shane snapped suddenly, startling everyone into staring at him. He swallowed hard, dropping his hands into his lap to hide the shaking. “I’m not pretending,” he repeated softer.

Denzler leaned close to him. “But you are, and everyone knows it. I wouldn’t even let a girl into an all boys school if they weren’t forcing me to. One more outburst like that and I guarantee I _will_ find a way to expel you; minority class or not.”

Shane said nothing, clenching his teeth and glaring straight ahead. Denzler smirked, standing to his full height. “Now, ladies. You’ve got thirty minutes.”

“You gonna provide us with drinks?” Eugene asked.

“Yang—“

“I can go get some, if you’d like,” he offered.

“Hell no. I can’t trust you as far as I can throw you. Ryan and Madej. Get some sodas from the faculty lounge.” Denzler passed Ryan a handful of dollar bills.

The two rose, filing silently out of the library and heading down the hall.


	3. Cracking Masks

The halls echoed with Shane and Ryan’s footsteps, otherwise eerily silent. Shane stared at his feet as he walked, his long body hunching over in an effort to make himself smaller. It took a few moments - and nearly running into him - to realize Ryan was speaking.

“Sorry. What?” Shane asked. Ryan began to walk again, glancing back.

“I said so it’s true.”

“What is?”

“You. You’re not— I mean you’re— You know...”

“Transgender?”

Ryan nodded. Shane shrugged. “It is. Didn’t you know that already?”

“Well, I mean I’d heard rumors but I figured they weren’t true. Just kids being dicks.”

“They’re true.”

“That’s gotta be tough.”

* * *

 

Shane shrugged again, taken aback by the show of support from Ryan. Any form of conversation would have surprised him, admittedly, but this was particularly shocking. Despite Shane’s quiet responses, Ryan continued.

“So if no one really knows - how does Keith know for sure?”

Shane chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “I uh — see you know, we don’t have separate changing rooms. And me being... Me, the gym teacher didn’t think it was safe for me to change in the locker room.”

“Probably a good call.”

“So I change in his office after class. He’s got a private shower, so it works out. Keith is in my class and one day he thought the teacher was in the room, so he just walked in... As I was stepping bare ass naked out of the shower.”

Ryan wheezed, his eyes widening. “Holy shit, I’m sorry to laugh.”

“No, it was hilarious. In hindsight, I mean at the time I was terrified he was gonna beat me up, try to fuck me, or kill me... But Keith’s a good guy.”

Shane’s cheeks warmed when he saw Ryan staring at him. “What?”

“You didn’t — I mean you don’t think something like that would really happen here do you?”

Shane scoffed. “Find a person with a vagina in an all boy’s school, what’s the first thing most horny teenage boys are gonna think of? Especially when the person with said vagina is pretty much already an outcast. Then said boys would have even more reason to hurt the person — because they made them gay or some dumb shit.”

“I feel like you’re being over dramatic.”

Shane’s heart twisted and sank at Ryan’s words. “I’m keeping myself safe. For good fucking reason.”

Ryan shrugged. “I just don’t see people doing that. I mean so what if you’re trans - it’s not a big deal.”

“Have you met the people you hang out with Ryan? Really listened to some of the things they say?”

“It’s all talk.”

“And talk hurts. Too much talk can easily turn into action. You don’t have to watch your back, don’t have to be scared of the day that happens. You don’t get to decide if I’m being overdramatic.”

Shane pushed past Ryan, tears burning his nose and eyes. He wouldn’t cry, and he wouldn’t apologize. Ryan didn’t get to tell him what he could be scared of.

***

In the library, Eugene and Keith sat on the steps, watching Zach flip through a book.

“Hey, Squirt, would you ever date a guy that had a facial mutation? Something like missing a cheek or an ear or had no nose.”

Zach frowned. “Why don’t you leave me alone?” He asked, exasperated.

“I just wanna have a conversation.”

“You know what I want?”

“Careful, Keith here’s got virgin ears. Right along with the rest of him,” Eugene teased.

“I’m not a virgin,” Keith argued, crossing his arms. Eugene raised an eyebrow.

“Oh really? Who’ve you had sex with?”

“Plenty of ladies.”

“Name one.”

“My current girlfriend.”

Eugene’s bark of laughter startled both of the others. “ _You_  have a girlfriend? Who is she?”

“You wouldn’t know her. Her name is Becky, she’s going to college up in New York.”

Eugene rolled his eyes, sharing a small glance with Zach, who was smirking as well.

“Right, you’re dating a college girl.”

“I am!” Keith cried, frustrated at the disbelief. “If I had my phone I’d show you.”

“Well, you don’t. How convenient. Until I see proof Imma have to call bullshit.”

Keith opened his mouth to argue, but Zach spoke up. “Ah, leave him be, Eugene.”

“Well what about you, Zach? You a virgin?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“Means yes.”

“So what? I don’t need to ask about you - we all know you’re a slut.”

Eugene grinned wider. “And proud of it.”

Zach looked back to his book, a shy smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

***

Shane could feel Ryan staring at him as he gathered the sodas and headed back down the hall.

“Hey.”

When Shane kept walking, Ryan spoke again. “Hey!”

Shane whipped around. “What?”

“I’m sorry, okay?”

The tension slid from Shane’s shoulders. “Sorry for what?”

“Telling you you’re being overdramatic. You were right. I have no idea how it feels to deal with what you deal with. I mean I’m gay, sure but — that’s different. My friends accept me. I didn’t realize how bad it was for guys in your situation.”

Shane relaxed further and nodded. “Thank you.”

The two kept pace for a while, quiet until Ryan spoke again.

“Is it really like that everyday? What you think walking through the halls?”

“No. Sometimes I almost forget. I feel normal, like I fit in, even if I’m a weirdo. But then I have to use the bathroom or go to the teacher’s office to change after gym or something else that just makes me so different. And it feels like everyone knows and they’re gonna hate me, and hurt me.”

“Has anyone?”

Shane shook his head. “No more than words. Not at this school yet.”

“So at your old school, before you moved into this one—“

Shane looked over, saying nothing. He didn’t have to, they both understood. Ryan nodded.

“I’m so sorry, Shane.”

“For what?”

“Causing you that pain.“

“You haven’t,” Shane said, “you’ve never done anything to me.”

“But I hang out with guys that have, that could do more. The ones you’re scared of. I can’t make them apologize, but I can.”

Shane smiled softly. “Thank you, Ryan.”

Ryan nodded, returning the smile. He faced forward when he opened the library door, signaling the end of their conversation. Shane frowned a little, hating that he’d almost thought Ryan might become his friend. He settled in his seat, wishing he could disappear into it.

One could tell a lot about a person from their lunch. Eugene for instance, didn’t have one. He reached between Ryan and Zach to grab a soda, spotting Zach withdrawing various Tupperware containers from his bag. He sat back a little, eyes narrowed.

Zach withdrew a paper towel and laid a split open bagel atop it. He spread cream cheese from one container, and then layered that with vibrant pink pieces of fish. On the top he sprinkled a green seasoning, and what looked like pepper. 

Noticing someone was staring, he glanced back. “Can I help you?”

“What is that?” Eugene asked.

“My lunch.”

“But it’s—“

“Lox,” Zach supplied. “Similar to smoked salmon.”

“It’s... Why do you have that?”

“My grandmother is visiting this weekend. She’s very traditional when it comes to her foods, so my mom’s been cooking a lot of the more stereotypical Jewish dishes for us.”

“I think she forgot to cook that piece,” Eugene said, still looking a little disgusted.

“Don’t you eat sushi?” Zach asked.

“Why, cause I’m Asian?”

“Cause you’re in California.”

“I’m  _from_  Texas. And I don’t like fish. Or raw food.”

Zach rolled his eyes, smiling good naturedly. “Can I eat?”

“You can certainly try, Squirt.”

He leaned back, opening the soda and taking a sip. What he saw next had him doing a double take. Keith was withdrawing a full sixteen piece chicken box from his backpack. He noticed Eugene staring much faster than Zach had.

“What?”

“What is that?”

“Chicken.”

“Wrong answer,” Eugene said, “I think you mean it’s an early grave.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “I like chicken.”

“That’s fine. That is not just chicken. It looks like you’ve got four chickens in there. Alive.”

“You’re just jealous,” Keith said.

“Possibly, I tend to envy heart attacks that come all prepackaged in shiny boxes.”

Keith said nothing more, instead choosing to take a large bite from he drumstick he’d withdrawn from the box.

Eugene shook his head, hoisting himself onto the table behind Zach and Ryan. Sipping his drink, he watched Ryan dig around in his bag. Out came a large wrapped burrito - Chipotle if Eugene’s nose guided him right. And two large burgers. And a bag of chips and salsa. And fries. Eugene’s stomach grew heavy just imagining the consumption of that much food.

“Does no one cook normal meals?” He asked aloud, earning a glare from Ryan.

Eugene hopped up, settling next to Shane, who was staring at his own brown bagged lunch like it was a living creature out to get him.

“What’s for lunch, Shane?” Eugene asked.

“I— Not sure yet.”

“Let’s find out.” Eugene grabbed the bag, noticing the immediate tension in Shane’s body. He scowled but pulled it open, a bark of laughter escaping when he saw what was inside.

The main dish was some sort of salad, small single use cups of what looked like sesame dressing, and a cup of flax seed as a topping. There was a baggie of dried apricots and dates in a ziplock baggie, and a bowl of hummus with chips. A small, single serve box of soymilk was the final piece.

The lunch itself was pretty much perfect; Eugene would certainly prefer it over the others he’d seen. The problem was that nearly every food item was stored in the most gaudy pink or purple container. The Tupperware was pastel pink and purple, hearts printed along the side. The baggies had various Disney princesses on them, and even the plastic fork was bright purple.

Shane squirmed as each new humiliating element to his food was revealed, hearing the quiet giggles from everyone in the room.

“Uh, so, Shane. Did your mom forget?”

“Forget what?” Shane mumbled. He could feel everyone staring, and a glance over proved Ryan’s eyes glued to his face.

“That you’re a boy now,” Eugene said.

“I’ve always been a boy,” Shane whispered, “and no. It’s just that she, I mean she usually makes lunch for my little sister. She just didn’t have anything else to pack it up in. Plus my sister probably helped.”

“Aw, that’s sweet. You have a pretty good life, huh Shane?”

Shane shrugged and Eugene laughed. “I bet it’s amazing. Lunch and a show then. Here’s how I think a day in the life of Shane is.” He rose and went to the center of the tables, clearing his throat.

Sticking out a hip, he clasped his hands together and brought them up to the side of his face, leaning his head on them. Clearing his throat, he began to speak, raising his voice to comically high levels.

“Oh, Shaney, you’re  _home_! How did you do on your math test?”

Even Shane laughed a little as Eugene shifted, fishing his hands on either side of his stomach and jutting his elbows out. His voice was still high, but less so, when he spoke. “Amazing Mom! I got a one hundred and fifteen percent!”

Back to the mom pose, “Just one hundred and fifteen? Too bad!”

He laughed ridiculously high and then straightened up, one hand on his hip and the other fisted, swinging as he spoke in a deep tone. “Oh what a kidder, my lovely wife. How was school overall today, Shane?”

Back to his mimic of Shane, “Great Dad! Only one person asked if I was a real boy!”

“Hey!” Ryan snapped. Eugene stopped, glancing around to see everyone scowling at him.

“Too far?” He asked. He turned back to Shane, who was staring at the worn brown carpet. He opened his mouth to speak, but Ryan continued.

“And what about your life?” Ryan taunted. “Is it that boring that you have to make fun of other guys?”

Eugene’s smile was soft, but his eyes were cold, giving him a haunted expression. “My life. I can do a day in my life too. That’s easy.”

He stood military straight, wiping all traces of expression of his face. When he began to speak, it was a little deeper and clear - each word was textbook crisp, well formed and without the slang and laziness of most of the teenagers that had grown up around this area.

“Why do you fail so much, Eugene? Your grades - Look at your grades, boy. This is not an acceptable letter for you. A D? A D! Last year you had a C, you are getting stupider, what is your excuse? You have no friends to blame it on, you have nothing. You are a bad child, a rotten egg! You never try, you are why your mother left! You are why I am single father with three children - you and your stupid lazy brain. Do you have nothing to say? I wish I could beat you. But no, I have to work. Spend the day in your room. No dinner, perhaps you can open a book - learn to read. You make me sick, stupid child.”

Each sentence he gestured, motioning to invisible things. His face remained emotionless until he finished, and then he visibly sank, his eyes darkening further.

“Bullshit,” Ryan said, breaking the awkward silence of the room.

“Excuse me?” Eugene asked.

“I said bullshit. I don’t believe a word of it. I doubt your parents are even divorced, let alone that one abandoned you.”

“Not that I need to fucking defend myself to you, she walked out during my freshman year. Up and left. So take your bullshit and shove it.” He turned and stormed off to the other end of the library, slamming a book cart into a shelf.

“Why would you say that?” Zach hissed.

“Say what? He’s a liar.”

“Not about that. We did a fundraiser for his dad and him and his sisters at the start of our sophomore year, you idiot. You fucking participated in it - don’t you remember?”

Ryan scowled, his brows furrowing as he struggled to think back that long ago. “Vaguely -- It must’ve slipped my mind.”

“Yeah, well now you’re just an asshole.”

“I’m sorry. He lies about everything else.”

“Not that,” Zach snapped, turning away from Ryan. He flushed red, staring down at his food. Shane watched quietly, his heart skipping a little. He knew Eugene hadn’t meant any harm, but having Ryan stick up for him - even if he’d done it in a rather brutish manner - was amazing. He looked back at his meal, the small smile fading.

It was stupid; food was food, but Shane knew. Each of these foods were high in one specific hormone - and the very one he was fighting against each day of his life. It was a passive aggressive move - and one he couldn’t do anything about, not that he could anyway considering his situation.

A wrapped burger being set in front of his hands drew Shane out of his thoughts. He looked up, giving Ryan a questioning look.

“Doesn’t look like that food’s really gonna satisfy... Anything. I have an extra.”

“Ah— Are you sure?” Shane squeaked. “I don’t wanna impose.”

“I’m good. My burrito’s gonna fill me up. Dig in.”

Shane grinned at him, his cheeks pinking up. It meant nothing, he kept reminding himself; Ryan was just being kind. He began to eat when Ryan returned to his seat, chatting quietly with Zach. Glancing at his own prepackaged lunch, he felt a twinge of guilt tossing it out. He looked back at Eugene, still without food, and smiled to himself. Pay it forward, right?

After finishing his burger, he rebagged his own lunch and walked toward the garbage can near Eugene’s table, going behind Ryan and Zach. He set the bag on the edge of the counter next to the can, making brief eye contact with Eugene. He glared after a second, lowering his gaze back to the table. Shane returned to his seat, pulling out the pen and paper again. It only took a few seconds before he heard the telltale rattle of the paper bag, and smiled to himself. At least it didn’t go to waste.

Eugene rose, tossing the bag out. He clapped his hands and walked to the front of the group.

“Field trip, come on.”

“No way,” Ryan said.

Eugene shrugged. “Fine. But if you  _don’t_  come with me and Denzler comes in,  _who’s_  ass will it be for letting me go? Oh right. Golden boy.”

Ryan’s eyes narrowed, hating with every ounce of his soul that Eugene was right. He also hated that he knew the others would follow Eugene without a question, leaving him holding the ball. With a heavy sigh, he rose, following the rest of the group out of the library and down the hall.


End file.
